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Many of the women who have written in have expressed feeling betrayed when they discover their men have looked at pornography.

They have expressed the belief that they are not attractive enough, or desirable enough, or sexy enough.

In addition to issues of performance for the male is the issue of genital size and appearance.

Beginning with adolescence it is common for boys to compare penis size with one another.

Children who were abused, targets of corporal punishment at the hands of parents, or who were otherwise mistreated gain joy out of pornography by identifying themselves with the sadist in these photos and movies.

These conflicted feelings are often less intense today, in the wake of the women's liberation movement, but they still persist.How can a father be engaged in fathering his children if he is locked in his office at home spending countless hours viewing porno sites on the internet?More than just viewing porn, these men are also masturbating. Why do otherwise good fathers and husbands engage in this self-isolating sexual behavior when they have a willing sexual partner available?It goes without saying that masturbation occurs in isolation, at least under these circumstances, and the wife or partner is not involved in this solo activity. Why do so many men view porn in private and keep it secret from their wives, even from those wives who are willing partners in jointly viewing pornography as a "turn on" preceding foreplay and intercourse? One of the reasons why men who are married, engaged to be married, or have a girl friend with whom they are sexually active, engage in the viewing of pornography in secret has to do with an emotion we recently visited called shame.Let us see if we can figure out some answers instead of engaging in condemnation. As has been stated in other weblog entries on this site, shame has to do with deep feelings of self-disapproval.

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